Saturday, September 28, 2013

Surrendering and Acceptance

This morning as I was preparing for my prayer and meditation time, a song was in my spirit almost out of nowhere. The song was “I Surrender All”. For a moment, I sat with the song because I really didn’t know where it came from or what it was going to mean as I was about to enter into prayer and meditation. It would not be until after my time was over that the understanding would come.

As we get older and we experience life, if we are not careful, we can silence the voice of the call on our lives. Depending on what area(s) we are called, we can give in to the pressures of governing boards, authorities and those who seem to know what is best. We look for others to call us and validate us, moving further and further away from that which we know we are truly called to be and/or do. For some of us, we allow our insecurities to take center stage which allows us to give in to other people’s opinions, judgments and desires for us. After all, they have been where we have been and made it to these places of position and power, aren’t they supposed to have the right answers? Yet, if we are in tune to the Spirit, we live with this quiet but uncomfortable longing and voice from within that tells us something is still not right no matter the titles we call ourselves, letters before or after our names, or stages we are allowed to stand on. There is still more and there is still a place we must get to.

This morning it was as if my spirit was singing its own song. “I surrender all. I surrender all. All to Jesus, my blessed Savior, I surrender all”. The spirit was being summons to lay it all down. Lay down all that burdens you have carried. All that you think you know and think you are. All that people have said about you. Everything….lay it down. For it has been what you have been carrying but has it been who you are and what you are truly called to do? While at the same time doing what is comfortable and what you have known, you still have not fully embraced all that you are and what you are truly called to do. An uncomfortable position to be in but almost being able to breathe a sigh of relief because the discomfort you have felt is finally acknowledged. The masks you have chosen to live behind are able to be removed and you see yourself for who you really are. No longer having to live on the sidelines of the life you know you are supposed to have because you are afraid of what will people think, say or do. Yet not really caring because what is calling you is much stronger than the opinions and perspectives of others. Yes, now it is time to surrender and accept. Surrender what has been. Surrender every fear, insecurity, hiding moment. In exchange, accept the fullness of your calling, purpose and identity. Accept who God has called, crafted, created and sent you to be. Freedom is birth in the surrendering and accepting.

Today I surrender my fears and insecurities to God which has caused me to hide and not walk in what I know God has called me to. I accept the purpose and the identity of who I am. When I was called to ministry there was a text which I was repeatedly taken to.

Jeremiah 1:4-10 (NRSV) says “Now the word of the Lord came to me saying, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.” Then I said, “Ah, Lord God! Truly I do not know how to speak, for I am only a boy.” But the Lord said to me, “Do not say, ‘I am only a boy’; for you shall go to all to whom I send you, and you shall speak whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you to deliver you, says the Lord.” Then the Lord put out his hand and touched my mouth; and the Lord said to me, “Now I have put my words in your mouth. See, today I appoint you over nations and over kingdoms, to pluck up and to pull down, to destroy and to overthrow, to build and to plant.”

Just as Jeremiah was fearful and insecure, so have I been. But God knew before time who Jeremiah was called to be. As with me, God knows who God has called me to be. Now it is time for me to walk in it and no longer run or hide from it. So today I choose to accept my acceptance and my full calling. Not simply as preacher/pastor but the fullness to walk in the apostolic and prophetic. “To pluck up and to pull down, to destroy and to overthrow, to build and to plant”. Now is the time and I choose to say “yes” to it all that I may live in the fullness of who God called me to be. I surrender and accept.