Saying "Yes"

One of my favorite worship songs is “Yes” by Shekinah Glory Ministries. Usually as I prepare to write a sermon, I will play this song in order to set the atmosphere for my sermons. The song says “If I told you what I really need from thee, would your heart and soul say yes?” The song stress how the Lord says there is more that I require of you. As I reflect on the lyrics of this song, it never ceases to pierce my spirit that as I have committed my life to ministry, the more these statements and questions become real to me.

Over the past couple of weeks, I have been placed in a cycle of personal issues while dealing with the day to day issues of church and ministry. As the pressure has become more intense of my own issues, once again I hear the lyrics to this song come to the forefront of my mind. Sometimes I question what exactly did I say yes to. What does it really mean to say “yes”? How much will it cost me or is costing me to say “yes” daily as I balance dying to myself in order to live out what God has called me to do?

Yes has cost me relationships which brings on periods of loneliness. Yes has cost me finances when I have known what it is to do well. Yes, has cost me the structure of security as the world would define it. Some people would say that Christians have no right to become depressed. However, I would be a liar if I did not say that in the midst saying yes, I have felt sad and depressed at times. The question becomes what happens when it seems like your faith is not enough to sustain through “yes”?

The more I say “yes” the more issues seem to come forward. The more I say “yes” the more I begin to question. The more I say “yes” the more unsecure my footing seems to be by my definition or comfort. What does it mean to sacrifice all for the sake of the ministry and this calling which I have? At this point, I can’t turn back because there is nothing to turn back to. All has been abandoned to fulfill this calling. I regret none of it and I will continue to press on. One thing is for certain, “yes” cost but at all cost, I must continue to run on and see what the end will be.